Friday, February 2, 2018

Can you believe it? We are already into February of the new year 2018 and I have not posted since October. How is that possible?

It is possible because we have been crazy busy with the grandchildren and their school, sports, driving them to appointments while dad is once again recovering from a bad injurty.

Now that 2018 has rolled around hubby and I decided we are going to start doing things for us more and son and his girlfriend less as she can get a job, but the bank of mom and dad has officially closed and yes, they do owe a balance and it will be paid when he gets back on his feet.

With that said, we are still living in our 5th wheel and still very much in love with each other in spite of the small spaces and people believing we would get on each others nerves.

I have come to love my little home and appreciate all the blessings it provides us with such as warmth in the winter, an oven that I can back some amazing creations in such as this decadent carrot cake made from scratch!

I have hot water for shower and doing dishes, a fridge which holds food and keeps it cold, a recliner for my weary body and a beautiful deck and yard when it isn't raining in SW Washington.

I have changed my mindset to be thankful and making better choices for my health and well being. I have cut out soda, carbs, junk food and most dairy but I am still eating great meals and trying new ones for our family which includes drop in grands almost every week-end!

I have joined an amazing yoga studio that cares about my well being, that doesn't push me to the point of pain and after a year of physical therapy on a shoulder and hip, the yoga and Nia class is working out much better and it is a studio filled with love and support.

I have lost 12.5 pouns since the first of the year and become very involved in getting healthier in walking, exercising, reading, eating and praying.

The one thing I am so excited about is essential oil work and I have joined Young Living oils to make my family and myself healthier. I am NOT pushing oils, but I am trying them for my family to see how they work.

If you would like a sample, please contact me, or if you have someone who has moved away and needs oils, let me know. I will NOT try to recruit you.

Have a blessed year and I would love to hook up with anyone still reading my blog!

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Quilts Needed for Las Vegas

 If you are a quilter and still following my blog and I know I have not been posting as much lately due to family issues, please, please send a card, a lap sized quilt for even a box of Keurig cups to the unseen heroes of this tragedy.  

Remember, if they get to many, they will share with others involved in this massacre! Any questions, please feel free to contact me!

LAS VEGAS ADDRESS UPDATE! Please share this on your page or with friends. Also , there is one agency that has decided to buy each Center a Keurig machine so if you are looking for something to send them send them a box of the most current version of Keurig cups for coffee, tea or hot chocolate. Other than that gift cards for Starbucks or fast food places are other ideas along with anything from your region of the country that might be fun. Okay here is a comprehensive list of the two primary agencies within Las Vegas that handled the shooting Sunday Night. Las Vegas Metro Communications 911 Center had 40 dispatchers on duty. Their total amount of dispatchers is 150. The address to send cards, letters and Gifts of support is 400 South Martin Luther King Boulevard. Las Vegas, Nevada 89002. Make sure that you attention it to the Bureau of communications or 911 Center.

Las Vegas fire handles fire and emergency medical dispatching. They had 11 dispatchers on when the event happened but called in additional help so they worked with a total of 16 people that night. They're total complement of dispatchers is 54. You may send support Cards & Gifts too Las Vegas fire Communications division 500 North Casino Center Boulevard Las Vegas, Nevada 89101. We know there are additional communication centers like private ambulance companies, North Las Vegas, Henderson Police and the highway patrol. We have asked Metro and the fire department to share with them rather than Post 6 or 7 different addresses. Thank you for your support both Las Vegas Metro and Fire have asked us to share their appreciation for all of the love and out reach they have received.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Last Granite Mountain Quilt

The Last Quilt To Granite Mountain Hotshots

Blowing in the Wind
On June 30, 2013, nineteen of the twenty Prescott, Arizona Granite Mountain Hotshots lost their lives fighting the Yarnell Hill Fire.

Those of you who are still following this blog and our Facebook page know as quickly as we could gather information, an all call went out to quilters all over the world to help make quilts for the families.

Without hesitation, quilters from all over began 'adopting,' family members, (parents, spouses, siblings and children) were sent quilts to comfort and let the families know in our own quiet way, that we were thinking of them.

After everyone was covered that we were aware of, I began to think about the survivor Brendan and what I could do for him, how much pain and sadness he must feel.

Once again, you answered the call and these amazing quilt blocks began coming in from New Mexico, Iowa, Washington and several from Australia and I knew then, Brendan had a quilt...let me rephrase that, Brendan would one day have a quilt.

Life happens in many different ways and my family is not immune to having issues, my husband and I downsized and moved, the quilt squares got put away in a safe place.

Once I found them, with the amazing quilting talent of Michelle M. in Oregon, I was able to send them to her and she said she would put them together and WOW!! 

After the quilt was made, Michelle began to look for a border and back and it had to in some way represent what these men represented and loved and that was the outdoors.

Michelle picked the gold border and it reminds me of autumn and the dry straw that is growing in my area. Sadly, as I write this, we have dozens upon dozens of firefighters and hotshot teams in our area from two fires that started earlier this week and they are waiting for all the fires, embers to be out before they leave.

Then Michelle picked the beautiful pine green backing and worked her magic.

On June 6, 2016 just prior to the 3rd anniversary of Yarnell Hill, Michelle mailed the quilt back to me alone with postage, the quilt label and I was to finish the binding and did and then, I wrapped the two together and put it away in a safe place.

So safe, that I forgot where I put it but eventually located it in our storage safely tucked in with other quilts.

I brought it home and all I wanted to do was get the perfect picture with a nature background, perhaps snow covered trees, Mt. Rainer, a river, but alas, we had the rainiest season last year and I could not get the picture taken.

My husband and I purchased a Harley and on the maiden voyage, I took the quilt and found the place to take the picture, Mayfield Lake in Washington, I loved the fact that a gentle breeze blew up and ruffled the quilt. I felt the 19 were gently blowing it and saying, 'this is the place!'
This October there is a movie coming out about these amazing 19 men, I have not decided if I will watch it or not, having almost been hired by Prescott as a dispatcher and then being a dispatcher for both fire and police in another city and having met the sister and mother of one of those that were lost, I am not sure I would be able to get through it.

However, if you would like to see the movie and watch the trailer, please click this link: 

Thank you all for trusting me and may you all and Brendan forgive me for the delay in mailing this beautiful love filled quilt out a bit late.


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Headstone For Unclaimed Baby

On July 1, 2017, I posted how I had attended a coroners funeral for unclaimed or forgotten people. If you read that post you know how I was not planning on going and then decided I needed to go.

I spent that entire day crying about the little baby boy whose cremains were placed in a vault with older people. Seriously, it hurt my heart to know that while this child's soul may no longer be here, this baby deserves a proper burial.

Well, here we are, 24 days later and I have been able to have the cemetery donate a plot on a hill next to another baby for this child's final resting place.

I have also been able to speak to our local monument makers and found out, I can get a reddish heart shaped stone with an angel on it for this baby so it will NOT be forgotten and someone will see someone cared.

I have $200 of the $409 needed to pay for the headstone next week and I am asking if by chance I still have any readers out there and you feel like you would like to help me give this child a proper burial and headstone you contact me please.

I could do a Go Fund Me account, however, they take a % off the top and I don't want to do that. I will take picture and post here once the stone is set.

I do NOT know the story behind this baby. All I know is he was 7 months gestation, died the day he was born or was still born and he has been with the local coroner for two years without a parent claiming the body.

As a mom who lost a child, I cannot imagine this parents pain. But I do know in my heart, that someday this mother, a father, a sibling, grandparent may reach out to the cemetery and ask about this little angel and they will see someone cared enough to not allow this baby to be forgotten. 

This is the actual invoice for the stone. I have to collect the money prior to paying for the stone and in Washington we have such a short window to do so.

Please contact me if you would like to donate!

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Funeral For The Unclaimed

Last evening I was reading my Facebook posts when I came across one regarding our county coroner who was have an internment of cremains this morning for seven people who have not been claimed by family or friends.

Six of them were between the ages of 57 years old and 80 years old and only one was a female. The 57 year old was homeless and froze to death last year in a local park.

The seventh, I have not been able to shake. It was a baby boy whose age was 7 months gestational, so I can only presume it was a miscarriage.

This morning, I got up, made my bed, ate breakfast, sat down to watch television and I just felt the Holy Spirit telling me, get up, get dressed and be there for those people who have no one and be there for that baby.

I don't like funerals and I decided I was not going to go. At 1019 I was getting dressed, putting on my lipstick, my shoes and on my way to an internment service for those people have forgotten.

I stopped and picked up a small orange Teddy Bear to be interned with that baby boy. I had to do something and even though his body is no longer with us, I can feel his soul.

I pulled in and the service was very dignified and peaceful. There was a white sun cover set up in the parking lot, a long table with a white table cloth, 6 large boxes and a very tiny box and all had a single red rose on them.

The coroner was there as well as the owner of the cemetery in what you would expect a funeral director to wear from the 1800's. There was a county chaplain, a patriot guard member with the flag, 2 women with small children, myself and a few other people.

What was missing was the stories about these men and this woman, who they were because there was no one there to tell them. There was no laughter about memories, no tears from a mom whose child did not make it.

Instead, there were strangers who didn't know the deceased and didn't know each other, but we all came together so those who died at least at the very end when they were being laid to rest had people who cared enough to get up, get dressed and be there.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Depression is Hereditary

I believe in my heart and mind that depression is hereditary and while I am sure I can find pages to back me up on this or to refute this claim, as I look around my family, I see this is the case.

My mom wasn't officially diagnosed with depression, but I can remember growing up where she was in bed for days on end and then she would be great for years at a time. As a child, I accepted she wasn't feeling well and got on with my daily life.

As an adult, I have had 4 children, 3 have bi-polar disorder, 1 has Autism and while for the most part, I have been 'untouched,' by this disorder, it is very obvious over the last twelve years or so, something is going on.

My husband and I spent an amazing 2.5 days in a cabin in the mountains a few hours away that sits on a creek. It was the first time in 15 years we actually got away, alone time for us.

A week later, I saw the cabin listed for sale and I cried for two days.
I have no idea why I cried, but every time I thought about the cabin, I bawled. My husband mentioned it on night and I bawled.

We are not in the position to purchase this cabin, but trust me, my mind has ran enough scenarios to give to the bank to purchase it, but in reality, I know we cannot swing it.

Then, depression and resentment set in. Why we have all our things in storage, why do we give and give to our family members and have them turn on us? It hurts like hell and yet...we give until we have nothing. Why?

My grandson is angry with me because I refused to purchase him another pair of name brand shoes when I just purchased him a new pair a month ago for making the honor roll.

Now, when I pick him up from school, instead of talking to me, he puts headsets on and won't say a word unless I pull it out of him. I took him for his check up the other day and the doctor asked me a question which I answered honestly and he told me in front of the doctor, 'just stop talking, you irritate me and my dad and we both hate you.' 

I was stunned into hurt silence. I wanted to bolt out the door, down the hall, jump in my car and drive off leaving him to call his dad to pick him up. But, I just sat there, hurt and dumb founded!

His doctor looked at him and asked, 'do you mean that or do you just want to hurt her? This is your grandmother, she raised you, why are you saying this to her?'

Needless to say, he got no answers!

I want to move, I want to go far away from where we live and block them all out. But is that the way to do this?

My parents didn't give me things when I got married, they didn't live close, but they did to my brother and they didn't give him things, they didn't pay for their grandchildren's sports, bands, field trips. They didn't give him gas if he was short between pay days and they never helped my husband or I if we were in a pickle and we made it through life.

My husband and I raised these 3 great and wonderful grandkids, but maybe it is time we pull back and let their dad do his job and lay off some of the fast food so he can afford gas!

I see my new therapist in July, boy are we going to have a great first session!

Saturday, May 20, 2017


I have isolated myself from the outside world lately. More and more I have a fear of opening my front door and even stepping out to take my dog outside.

What has happened to me? 

I used to be this vibrant, happy, life loving person and now I am a person who isolates.

What bring on depression, anxiety, panic and fear? Is it my age?

I clean my beautiful small home daily. When I am done, I sit and crochet and crochet and dream about where God is leading me in my journey.

This week, I donated 8 hats and 4 scarves to my church for a homeless project as well as a backpack and other items.

I have 10 baby beanies made for the pregnancy center.

I have another 3 beanies for the homeless shelter.

I am blessed to not sit idle. That I have something to do, to keep my mind from wandering from the past to the now to the future. 

Today, I have to remember to live in the moment, the here and now. I have to actually remember to take my medication for my diabetes and fibromyalgia and check off I took them. I have to remember to eat breakfast and lunch and check off that I did that as well.

Why you might ask? Why must such mundane daily tasks be logged?

Because, I suffer from depression and at times, I just forget to take my medication, I forget to eat because I don't remember things as well as I used to when I was healthier.

No one knows the pain of depression unless they have suffered. No one understands the triggers of PTSD unless they have suffered. No one understands a family members depression, unless they have suffered.

To one day be happy, have your life planned out, see your family doing well, making plans for their future, to get up in the morning in spite of pain, make breakfast, send the kids off to school, get chores done, shopping, plan snacks, dinner, go for a walk, feel the sunshine on your face and then "poof!" In a NY second it is all gone.

Gone is your life, the purpose you had for getting out of bed each morning. Gone is your home and you are left with your life sitting in a storage unit where you open the door and then close it because you have no idea what to do with the stuff. 

Check in today with a friend you know or maybe you suspect has depression. Call them and just say hello, how are you? 

Isolation is our way of not knowing what else to do. Not believing that anyone cares. Reach out!